Don’t be so self-centred

Business, Journal, Property Market, Sales,  Journal,  Principals,  Property Managers,  Salespeople

‘Give to get’ – sounds good but the mindset should be ‘Give BEFORE you get’.  If you give for the right reason you will get so much more back. 

Sponsoring local clubs and charities is a good thing to do, but when I say doing it for the ‘right reason’ I mean with the best of intentions.  Give so that others will benefit! Relational not transactional.

Some people claim that their personal and business success has been earned without help from others along the way. However, this attitude is selfish, egotistical, and naive.

Studies, detailed in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, ‘Outliers’, have shown that the postcode of your birth is more predictive of success, health, and lifespan than IQ, degrees, or genetics. Nobody makes it through life entirely on his or her own merits, even if it is not obvious. As a result, everyone has a debt to repay – and a reason to give back.

This is such a key topic that I devoted a full week discussing it with Tanja Lee from TMJ Coaching recently on REUNCUT.   We talked about the gift of ‘radical giving’ in real estate and how to bring conscious generosity to a commission-based business.

Here are some of the key points she made in our discussions:

Real relating is what’s required in real estate

Tanja sees two orientations of real estate agency. The Transactional Agent (self-centred-commission based operator) and the Relational Agent (client-centric compassionate based servant).  The latter is the model that is now almost critical to have as part of a growth philosophy.

 The Law of Reciprocity

The Law of Reciprocity basically says that when someone does something nice for you, you will have a deep-rooted psychological urge to do something nice in return. As a matter of fact, you may even reciprocate with a gesture far more generous than their original good deed. This is how some of the greatest agents operate.   This mindset will help you to ‘strategically grow’.

 Increase your referral rate through consistent connection

According to CoreLogic RP Data, from the moment an authority is signed to when the property is sold, most vendors’ level of confidence in their agent of choice drops by 47%.  This statistic significantly affects an agent’s chances of securing a referral, which means almost 50% of their business will automatically go to their competitors.

 Establishing a mindset for success

We can either be in a scarcity or abundant mindset. When we have a mindset of generosity and an attitude of abundance it magnifies our ability to attract more business.

Truly understanding the difference between living ‘above the line’ and ‘below the line’ and how you can become a magnet for making a difference and attract greater wealth for you and your clients will ensure your future.


You can hear all of Tanja’s segments by entering her name at  They ran between October 14 and 18 this year.  Well worth doing – believe me!


Kevin Turner hosts Australasia’s longest-running and most listened to podcast for real estate agents, business owners and property managers – Real Estate UNCUT.  He is also the Anchor for international property OTT network –